Gypsy Princess

Heres a section of the story I'm working on right now. It's based on a story I wrote when I was younger, but is turning out to be quite differant.It is un-edited,and I'm going to have to refine it a lot, but it's one of my favorite sections I think.This whole story has been somewhat under the curse of the comma, since I just read Jane Eyre and theres a TON of commas in that book. :-) But I'm just really glad to be working on this story everyday, since I write regularly so very sparadically.
So tell me what ya'll think!

The night was dark, as there was no moon. Sarah followed the darker shapes of her parents to their tent, where she went in to find Mirab already seated, with a lantern burning next to her. The shadows played on her face, making her look almost wild. Her eye’s were the darkest Sarah had ever seen them, and they looked like they held great secrets. Corin settled himself on the blankets, sitting indian style with his legs crossed, and Sarah followed suit. No one spoke for awhile, but Sarah finally broke the silence, saying “So what is this all about then?”No one answered, and in exasperation she exclaimed “You didn’t bring me all the way over here to sit in meditative silence, did you? Corin, you said you would explain, so explain!”
Corin looked at her and sighed. “Mirab and I have been having an argument for about eight years. Tonight, I have finally won. We are going to tell you the circumstances of your joining our family, because I fear if we don’t tell you you will find it out on your own and hold us responsible.”
Here he paused, and Sarah could have killed him. If he was going for dramatic effect it certainly was working. A million questions popped into her head. “What does he mean, hold them responsible? What is he talking about? I’m just an orphan right? She pressed her lips firmly together, not letting herself start asking. He would tell her, if she just listened.
Mirab suddenly spoke. “Sometimes, especially when I’m hurting, I’m a little wild Sarah. We all do rash things in our life time, but I’m afraid I’ve done more then my share. I wish to tell you a story.” She hesitated, then took a deep breath as if gathering courage. “ Once, long ago, I lost a child. Her name was Ruthie, and she was but 4 years old. She had caught a cold, one day, on our road traveling. I thought nothing of it, but soon it developed into Pneumonia. She wasn’t a strong child, although sweet, with an imagination I’ve never seen since. I stayed up night after night with her, helping her fight off her nightmares. But to no avail, she closed her eye’s one day and never opened them again. I was absolutely wild with grief. I had never lost a child before, she was my first. When I knew she was dead, I began wandering the streets, nothing could console me. Corin was gone, fiddling at a tavern, so not even he was there to comfort me. As I said, I wandered the streets, and suddenly overtaken by grief I went into a small alleyway and sank against the wall to cry. When my tears had subsided somewhat, I looked up, and was startled to see a small, delicate child staring at me with large mournful eye’s. Such sadness and pity I saw in those eyes, I wondered what the child could have possibly been through. I called her to me, and she came shyly and sat next to me. I asked her questions, but she didn’t answer, she just stared at me with those eyes. I noticed right away bruises on her face and how thin she was. I was filled with anger at someone who would treat a child such, beating and starving them. I talked to her for awhile, telling her about Ruthie, who had been around her age. I was filled with a sudden desire to save this girl from whoever was treating her so horribly, to take her as my own child. On a sudden impulse I told her I was taking her with me, scooped her up and ran out of the town. I grabbed a horse from our camp and galloped away, not even thinking what would happen when Corin returned to our camp to find me gone. My only desire was to save you, and to save myself in taking the child that wasn’t rightly mine.” Mirab closed her eyes, as if fighting an age old grief that still hovered near.
“What did you do?” Sarah asked Corin, who had been staring at his hands thoughtfully throughout.
He looked up and met her eyes. “I came back to the camp late at night, and some of the woman told me Ruthie was dead and that Mirab had disappeared. I didn’t know where she had gone, but I tracked her. I found her early the next morning.”
“Why didn’t you just take me back?” said Sarah. She felt strangely void of feelings, as if she wasn’t going to let herself feel until she knew the whole story.
Corin sighed. “I knew we should. But I couldn’t bear to take yet another beautiful little girl from Mirab, I don’t know what she would have done if I had insisted. And you...you were - are, so special. You were so beat up and you didn’t speak for nearly a year you know.”
“What!” said Sarah. “Was I mute?”
“No, I think you must have gone through something very traumatic. I don’t think the people you were living with, the ones who beat you, were your parents. But I don’t know what could possibly have happened to you.”
“And my necklace?” said Sarah. “What of that?”
“Your necklace,” said Mirab “was a very strange thing. See, for all your appearance it would seem like you were an abused peasant girl. But no peasant girl would have such a beautiful necklace. It is real silver you know. And you had hidden it from whoever you were living with. You had it tied under your hair where no one could see it. I discovered it one night when I was combing your hair. The discovery of that nearly made us bring you back to the village, for we felt there was much more to your story than we had originally thought. But something stopped us.”
Corin looked up in surprise as Mirab said this. He looked at her questioningly, “I thought we had agreed-” he started, but Mirab interrupted him.
“We must finish what we have started,” she said fiercely. Corin looked down, and then nodded. “We were followed,” Mirab said in a voice barely above a whisper. “By whom, or why, we do not know. We only know that we were followed by a person who had no good intentions and wanted you.”
Sarah drew in a her breath, and a shadow of fear touched her mind. “Who am I?” She whispered, and was surprised when tears fell on her hand. She brushed them quickly away, telling herself this was no time for weeping.
“We don’t know,” said Corin, touching her hand gently. “But you can find out, if you wish.”
Sarah looked up quickly, feeling a small sliver of hope. How she would love to have all her questions answered, to have no more fear! “How?”
“The town I found you in, the town that Ruthie died near, the town that holds so many memories for me, it was this town. It was Greforshire.”
Sarah felt the hope bloom inside of her, and smiled tentatively. “That means I can, I can look - I can see...”
“But you must be careful Sarah!” Corin cut in, his voice suddenly loud. He sighed, and said in a quieter tone, “those people looking for you were not good people. And if they still want you they could do you harm. And - “
He paused, as if it was to hard for him to go on. “We do not wish you to leave us Sarah,” Mirab said, voicing his thoughts. “We all love you.”
“I won’t!” said Sarah, feeling excited and torn at the same time. “I’ll - I’ll just find some things out while were here, and then we’ll leave, and my curiosity will be satisfied and everything will go on as before.”
Mirab smiled, and reached forward to swipe the hair out of Sarah's face. “I’m glad,”she said tenderly. “It would break Zari’s heart if you ever left.”
Corin, however, was not so easily satisfied. “I’m afraid it won’t be so easy,” he murmured. Sarah looked at him sharply, and saw the deep worry in his eyes.
“Oh Corin,” she said softly, “No matter what I find out, you will always be my father, you will always be my family. Nothing can change that, nothing ever will. “She squeezed his great dark hand, and said with absolute assurance “It will be all right. You’ll see.” All her fears were forgotten for the moment, lost in her new found excitement and fond feeling for her family.
Corin looked up and smiled softly. “May it be so,” he said, and Sarah was relieved to see him look not quite so worried. “It’s time you be getting to bed young lady!” he said, resuming his fatherly role. “Do you know, it is almost three in the morning!”
Sarah yawned, “I can feel it! Are you two done telling me revealing and largely important things about my childhood?”
“For the moment!” said Mirab, laughingly.
“Then I will bid you good night,” said Sarah, standing up. “Or rather, good morning.”
“I’ll walk you back to your tent,” said Corin, also standing.
“Thank you,” said Sarah, feeling secretly pleased. She had learned to much this night to feel comfortable going into the dark night alone. And she was sure the drunk woman from her dreams would be haunting her sub-conscience quite often from now on. Perhaps she had been the one she’d been living with, Sarah had already seen her beating her. But the girl in her dreams name was Ella, maybe it wasn’t her at all? She shook her head, trying to get rid of the questions that constantly bombarded her. Corin offered her his arm, and she took it with a smile. “Thank you sir knight,” she said, “now lead me to my chambers.”
Pausing before entering her tent, Sarah sensed Corin looking at her thoughtfully. “What is is Corin?” she finally asked.
He hesitated, but then said “While we’re on the subject, have been remembering anyone else you might think to be from your childhood?” The face of the drunk woman came into her mind, along with her strange dream from that very night. At the thought of the dream, she shuddered involuntarily, and Corin picked up on it right away.
Sarah thought about saying no, but she knew Corin wouldn’t believe her. “Another night,” she said. “I’m tired now.”
Corin nodded, but the troubled look had returned to his eyes. “Sleep well dear one,” he said.
“And the same to you,” said Sarah. Bending, she entered the tent, calling softly “goodnight!”
Corin watched her go, then stood in the dark a few minutes, contemplating, before returning to his tent and wife.

Drama_Queen