Okay, here's some discussion topics for us to talk about.
What is this revising thing I keep hearing about? I mean, I do the editing thing, fix spelling mistakes, grammar and even rework awkward sentences. But what about first and second and third drafts? Do people actually re-write their entire story three times? WHY? HOW? SHOULD I? So, has anyone actually done this? Does anyone know how to do this? Is anyone as baffled about it as I am? Discuss!
What is your motivation for writing? Why do you write? What makes you want to write?
For me, I see all the good books out there. Books are such amazingly cool things. There is so much wisdom and truth in books. There are SO many stories out there! If you think about all the stories out there that have been written down, and then all the ones that haven't, it's baffling! So when I see the coolness of books, of stories, of life, I think I want to add to that. I want to add my story, my little bit of truth. And who knows, maybe I could change a life.
So that's why I write, how about you?
Drama_Queen
Saturday, October 14, 2006
Monday, October 09, 2006
Gypsy Princess
Heres a section of the story I'm working on right now. It's based on a story I wrote when I was younger, but is turning out to be quite differant.It is un-edited,and I'm going to have to refine it a lot, but it's one of my favorite sections I think.This whole story has been somewhat under the curse of the comma, since I just read Jane Eyre and theres a TON of commas in that book. :-) But I'm just really glad to be working on this story everyday, since I write regularly so very sparadically.
So tell me what ya'll think!
The night was dark, as there was no moon. Sarah followed the darker shapes of her parents to their tent, where she went in to find Mirab already seated, with a lantern burning next to her. The shadows played on her face, making her look almost wild. Her eye’s were the darkest Sarah had ever seen them, and they looked like they held great secrets. Corin settled himself on the blankets, sitting indian style with his legs crossed, and Sarah followed suit. No one spoke for awhile, but Sarah finally broke the silence, saying “So what is this all about then?”No one answered, and in exasperation she exclaimed “You didn’t bring me all the way over here to sit in meditative silence, did you? Corin, you said you would explain, so explain!”
Corin looked at her and sighed. “Mirab and I have been having an argument for about eight years. Tonight, I have finally won. We are going to tell you the circumstances of your joining our family, because I fear if we don’t tell you you will find it out on your own and hold us responsible.”
Here he paused, and Sarah could have killed him. If he was going for dramatic effect it certainly was working. A million questions popped into her head. “What does he mean, hold them responsible? What is he talking about? I’m just an orphan right? She pressed her lips firmly together, not letting herself start asking. He would tell her, if she just listened.
Mirab suddenly spoke. “Sometimes, especially when I’m hurting, I’m a little wild Sarah. We all do rash things in our life time, but I’m afraid I’ve done more then my share. I wish to tell you a story.” She hesitated, then took a deep breath as if gathering courage. “ Once, long ago, I lost a child. Her name was Ruthie, and she was but 4 years old. She had caught a cold, one day, on our road traveling. I thought nothing of it, but soon it developed into Pneumonia. She wasn’t a strong child, although sweet, with an imagination I’ve never seen since. I stayed up night after night with her, helping her fight off her nightmares. But to no avail, she closed her eye’s one day and never opened them again. I was absolutely wild with grief. I had never lost a child before, she was my first. When I knew she was dead, I began wandering the streets, nothing could console me. Corin was gone, fiddling at a tavern, so not even he was there to comfort me. As I said, I wandered the streets, and suddenly overtaken by grief I went into a small alleyway and sank against the wall to cry. When my tears had subsided somewhat, I looked up, and was startled to see a small, delicate child staring at me with large mournful eye’s. Such sadness and pity I saw in those eyes, I wondered what the child could have possibly been through. I called her to me, and she came shyly and sat next to me. I asked her questions, but she didn’t answer, she just stared at me with those eyes. I noticed right away bruises on her face and how thin she was. I was filled with anger at someone who would treat a child such, beating and starving them. I talked to her for awhile, telling her about Ruthie, who had been around her age. I was filled with a sudden desire to save this girl from whoever was treating her so horribly, to take her as my own child. On a sudden impulse I told her I was taking her with me, scooped her up and ran out of the town. I grabbed a horse from our camp and galloped away, not even thinking what would happen when Corin returned to our camp to find me gone. My only desire was to save you, and to save myself in taking the child that wasn’t rightly mine.” Mirab closed her eyes, as if fighting an age old grief that still hovered near.
“What did you do?” Sarah asked Corin, who had been staring at his hands thoughtfully throughout.
He looked up and met her eyes. “I came back to the camp late at night, and some of the woman told me Ruthie was dead and that Mirab had disappeared. I didn’t know where she had gone, but I tracked her. I found her early the next morning.”
“Why didn’t you just take me back?” said Sarah. She felt strangely void of feelings, as if she wasn’t going to let herself feel until she knew the whole story.
Corin sighed. “I knew we should. But I couldn’t bear to take yet another beautiful little girl from Mirab, I don’t know what she would have done if I had insisted. And you...you were - are, so special. You were so beat up and you didn’t speak for nearly a year you know.”
“What!” said Sarah. “Was I mute?”
“No, I think you must have gone through something very traumatic. I don’t think the people you were living with, the ones who beat you, were your parents. But I don’t know what could possibly have happened to you.”
“And my necklace?” said Sarah. “What of that?”
“Your necklace,” said Mirab “was a very strange thing. See, for all your appearance it would seem like you were an abused peasant girl. But no peasant girl would have such a beautiful necklace. It is real silver you know. And you had hidden it from whoever you were living with. You had it tied under your hair where no one could see it. I discovered it one night when I was combing your hair. The discovery of that nearly made us bring you back to the village, for we felt there was much more to your story than we had originally thought. But something stopped us.”
Corin looked up in surprise as Mirab said this. He looked at her questioningly, “I thought we had agreed-” he started, but Mirab interrupted him.
“We must finish what we have started,” she said fiercely. Corin looked down, and then nodded. “We were followed,” Mirab said in a voice barely above a whisper. “By whom, or why, we do not know. We only know that we were followed by a person who had no good intentions and wanted you.”
Sarah drew in a her breath, and a shadow of fear touched her mind. “Who am I?” She whispered, and was surprised when tears fell on her hand. She brushed them quickly away, telling herself this was no time for weeping.
“We don’t know,” said Corin, touching her hand gently. “But you can find out, if you wish.”
Sarah looked up quickly, feeling a small sliver of hope. How she would love to have all her questions answered, to have no more fear! “How?”
“The town I found you in, the town that Ruthie died near, the town that holds so many memories for me, it was this town. It was Greforshire.”
Sarah felt the hope bloom inside of her, and smiled tentatively. “That means I can, I can look - I can see...”
“But you must be careful Sarah!” Corin cut in, his voice suddenly loud. He sighed, and said in a quieter tone, “those people looking for you were not good people. And if they still want you they could do you harm. And - “
He paused, as if it was to hard for him to go on. “We do not wish you to leave us Sarah,” Mirab said, voicing his thoughts. “We all love you.”
“I won’t!” said Sarah, feeling excited and torn at the same time. “I’ll - I’ll just find some things out while were here, and then we’ll leave, and my curiosity will be satisfied and everything will go on as before.”
Mirab smiled, and reached forward to swipe the hair out of Sarah's face. “I’m glad,”she said tenderly. “It would break Zari’s heart if you ever left.”
Corin, however, was not so easily satisfied. “I’m afraid it won’t be so easy,” he murmured. Sarah looked at him sharply, and saw the deep worry in his eyes.
“Oh Corin,” she said softly, “No matter what I find out, you will always be my father, you will always be my family. Nothing can change that, nothing ever will. “She squeezed his great dark hand, and said with absolute assurance “It will be all right. You’ll see.” All her fears were forgotten for the moment, lost in her new found excitement and fond feeling for her family.
Corin looked up and smiled softly. “May it be so,” he said, and Sarah was relieved to see him look not quite so worried. “It’s time you be getting to bed young lady!” he said, resuming his fatherly role. “Do you know, it is almost three in the morning!”
Sarah yawned, “I can feel it! Are you two done telling me revealing and largely important things about my childhood?”
“For the moment!” said Mirab, laughingly.
“Then I will bid you good night,” said Sarah, standing up. “Or rather, good morning.”
“I’ll walk you back to your tent,” said Corin, also standing.
“Thank you,” said Sarah, feeling secretly pleased. She had learned to much this night to feel comfortable going into the dark night alone. And she was sure the drunk woman from her dreams would be haunting her sub-conscience quite often from now on. Perhaps she had been the one she’d been living with, Sarah had already seen her beating her. But the girl in her dreams name was Ella, maybe it wasn’t her at all? She shook her head, trying to get rid of the questions that constantly bombarded her. Corin offered her his arm, and she took it with a smile. “Thank you sir knight,” she said, “now lead me to my chambers.”
Pausing before entering her tent, Sarah sensed Corin looking at her thoughtfully. “What is is Corin?” she finally asked.
He hesitated, but then said “While we’re on the subject, have been remembering anyone else you might think to be from your childhood?” The face of the drunk woman came into her mind, along with her strange dream from that very night. At the thought of the dream, she shuddered involuntarily, and Corin picked up on it right away.
Sarah thought about saying no, but she knew Corin wouldn’t believe her. “Another night,” she said. “I’m tired now.”
Corin nodded, but the troubled look had returned to his eyes. “Sleep well dear one,” he said.
“And the same to you,” said Sarah. Bending, she entered the tent, calling softly “goodnight!”
Corin watched her go, then stood in the dark a few minutes, contemplating, before returning to his tent and wife.
Drama_Queen
So tell me what ya'll think!
The night was dark, as there was no moon. Sarah followed the darker shapes of her parents to their tent, where she went in to find Mirab already seated, with a lantern burning next to her. The shadows played on her face, making her look almost wild. Her eye’s were the darkest Sarah had ever seen them, and they looked like they held great secrets. Corin settled himself on the blankets, sitting indian style with his legs crossed, and Sarah followed suit. No one spoke for awhile, but Sarah finally broke the silence, saying “So what is this all about then?”No one answered, and in exasperation she exclaimed “You didn’t bring me all the way over here to sit in meditative silence, did you? Corin, you said you would explain, so explain!”
Corin looked at her and sighed. “Mirab and I have been having an argument for about eight years. Tonight, I have finally won. We are going to tell you the circumstances of your joining our family, because I fear if we don’t tell you you will find it out on your own and hold us responsible.”
Here he paused, and Sarah could have killed him. If he was going for dramatic effect it certainly was working. A million questions popped into her head. “What does he mean, hold them responsible? What is he talking about? I’m just an orphan right? She pressed her lips firmly together, not letting herself start asking. He would tell her, if she just listened.
Mirab suddenly spoke. “Sometimes, especially when I’m hurting, I’m a little wild Sarah. We all do rash things in our life time, but I’m afraid I’ve done more then my share. I wish to tell you a story.” She hesitated, then took a deep breath as if gathering courage. “ Once, long ago, I lost a child. Her name was Ruthie, and she was but 4 years old. She had caught a cold, one day, on our road traveling. I thought nothing of it, but soon it developed into Pneumonia. She wasn’t a strong child, although sweet, with an imagination I’ve never seen since. I stayed up night after night with her, helping her fight off her nightmares. But to no avail, she closed her eye’s one day and never opened them again. I was absolutely wild with grief. I had never lost a child before, she was my first. When I knew she was dead, I began wandering the streets, nothing could console me. Corin was gone, fiddling at a tavern, so not even he was there to comfort me. As I said, I wandered the streets, and suddenly overtaken by grief I went into a small alleyway and sank against the wall to cry. When my tears had subsided somewhat, I looked up, and was startled to see a small, delicate child staring at me with large mournful eye’s. Such sadness and pity I saw in those eyes, I wondered what the child could have possibly been through. I called her to me, and she came shyly and sat next to me. I asked her questions, but she didn’t answer, she just stared at me with those eyes. I noticed right away bruises on her face and how thin she was. I was filled with anger at someone who would treat a child such, beating and starving them. I talked to her for awhile, telling her about Ruthie, who had been around her age. I was filled with a sudden desire to save this girl from whoever was treating her so horribly, to take her as my own child. On a sudden impulse I told her I was taking her with me, scooped her up and ran out of the town. I grabbed a horse from our camp and galloped away, not even thinking what would happen when Corin returned to our camp to find me gone. My only desire was to save you, and to save myself in taking the child that wasn’t rightly mine.” Mirab closed her eyes, as if fighting an age old grief that still hovered near.
“What did you do?” Sarah asked Corin, who had been staring at his hands thoughtfully throughout.
He looked up and met her eyes. “I came back to the camp late at night, and some of the woman told me Ruthie was dead and that Mirab had disappeared. I didn’t know where she had gone, but I tracked her. I found her early the next morning.”
“Why didn’t you just take me back?” said Sarah. She felt strangely void of feelings, as if she wasn’t going to let herself feel until she knew the whole story.
Corin sighed. “I knew we should. But I couldn’t bear to take yet another beautiful little girl from Mirab, I don’t know what she would have done if I had insisted. And you...you were - are, so special. You were so beat up and you didn’t speak for nearly a year you know.”
“What!” said Sarah. “Was I mute?”
“No, I think you must have gone through something very traumatic. I don’t think the people you were living with, the ones who beat you, were your parents. But I don’t know what could possibly have happened to you.”
“And my necklace?” said Sarah. “What of that?”
“Your necklace,” said Mirab “was a very strange thing. See, for all your appearance it would seem like you were an abused peasant girl. But no peasant girl would have such a beautiful necklace. It is real silver you know. And you had hidden it from whoever you were living with. You had it tied under your hair where no one could see it. I discovered it one night when I was combing your hair. The discovery of that nearly made us bring you back to the village, for we felt there was much more to your story than we had originally thought. But something stopped us.”
Corin looked up in surprise as Mirab said this. He looked at her questioningly, “I thought we had agreed-” he started, but Mirab interrupted him.
“We must finish what we have started,” she said fiercely. Corin looked down, and then nodded. “We were followed,” Mirab said in a voice barely above a whisper. “By whom, or why, we do not know. We only know that we were followed by a person who had no good intentions and wanted you.”
Sarah drew in a her breath, and a shadow of fear touched her mind. “Who am I?” She whispered, and was surprised when tears fell on her hand. She brushed them quickly away, telling herself this was no time for weeping.
“We don’t know,” said Corin, touching her hand gently. “But you can find out, if you wish.”
Sarah looked up quickly, feeling a small sliver of hope. How she would love to have all her questions answered, to have no more fear! “How?”
“The town I found you in, the town that Ruthie died near, the town that holds so many memories for me, it was this town. It was Greforshire.”
Sarah felt the hope bloom inside of her, and smiled tentatively. “That means I can, I can look - I can see...”
“But you must be careful Sarah!” Corin cut in, his voice suddenly loud. He sighed, and said in a quieter tone, “those people looking for you were not good people. And if they still want you they could do you harm. And - “
He paused, as if it was to hard for him to go on. “We do not wish you to leave us Sarah,” Mirab said, voicing his thoughts. “We all love you.”
“I won’t!” said Sarah, feeling excited and torn at the same time. “I’ll - I’ll just find some things out while were here, and then we’ll leave, and my curiosity will be satisfied and everything will go on as before.”
Mirab smiled, and reached forward to swipe the hair out of Sarah's face. “I’m glad,”she said tenderly. “It would break Zari’s heart if you ever left.”
Corin, however, was not so easily satisfied. “I’m afraid it won’t be so easy,” he murmured. Sarah looked at him sharply, and saw the deep worry in his eyes.
“Oh Corin,” she said softly, “No matter what I find out, you will always be my father, you will always be my family. Nothing can change that, nothing ever will. “She squeezed his great dark hand, and said with absolute assurance “It will be all right. You’ll see.” All her fears were forgotten for the moment, lost in her new found excitement and fond feeling for her family.
Corin looked up and smiled softly. “May it be so,” he said, and Sarah was relieved to see him look not quite so worried. “It’s time you be getting to bed young lady!” he said, resuming his fatherly role. “Do you know, it is almost three in the morning!”
Sarah yawned, “I can feel it! Are you two done telling me revealing and largely important things about my childhood?”
“For the moment!” said Mirab, laughingly.
“Then I will bid you good night,” said Sarah, standing up. “Or rather, good morning.”
“I’ll walk you back to your tent,” said Corin, also standing.
“Thank you,” said Sarah, feeling secretly pleased. She had learned to much this night to feel comfortable going into the dark night alone. And she was sure the drunk woman from her dreams would be haunting her sub-conscience quite often from now on. Perhaps she had been the one she’d been living with, Sarah had already seen her beating her. But the girl in her dreams name was Ella, maybe it wasn’t her at all? She shook her head, trying to get rid of the questions that constantly bombarded her. Corin offered her his arm, and she took it with a smile. “Thank you sir knight,” she said, “now lead me to my chambers.”
Pausing before entering her tent, Sarah sensed Corin looking at her thoughtfully. “What is is Corin?” she finally asked.
He hesitated, but then said “While we’re on the subject, have been remembering anyone else you might think to be from your childhood?” The face of the drunk woman came into her mind, along with her strange dream from that very night. At the thought of the dream, she shuddered involuntarily, and Corin picked up on it right away.
Sarah thought about saying no, but she knew Corin wouldn’t believe her. “Another night,” she said. “I’m tired now.”
Corin nodded, but the troubled look had returned to his eyes. “Sleep well dear one,” he said.
“And the same to you,” said Sarah. Bending, she entered the tent, calling softly “goodnight!”
Corin watched her go, then stood in the dark a few minutes, contemplating, before returning to his tent and wife.
Drama_Queen
Thursday, October 05, 2006
Second Part
This is the second part to KrazyKelia's short story.
The crackle and hiss of the fire was subdued to a low grumble, and the storm had quieted to a peaceful stillness. Little Johnny, Matilda had learned the name of the first boy she saw, was fast asleep sprawled on the couch. The older children were contentedly slumped in chairs, and the parents talk was just a soft murmer.
"Pillow fight!" the cry rang out, heralding the news of war, and the air was suddenly filled with cushions bombarding the sleepers. Matilda watched in amusement as Johnny was knocked of the couch, and with a shriek he nailed his apponent with the pillow he had just been resting on.
"I'm terribly sorry," the father tried to appolagize but Matilda just smiled and said
"Children will be children."
"Well if your certain..." the father grabbed and abandoned pillow and joined in the fray with a laugh. A few moments later, when the noise was subsiding somewhat, Johnny tugged again on Matilda's skirt.
"There's a hole," he said when Matilda looked down.
"What?" Matilda got up and went to the spot where Johnny pointed. Sure enough, right where one of the couch cushions had been, was a gaping black hole. She stared down into its ominous depths with a feeling of trepidation, as everyone gathered around her.
"I'll see what's down there," a brave lad offered, only to be nearly smothered by his mother as she wailed hugging him feircly
"No! Something could happen to you!"
"I'll go," Matilda anounced firmly, and stepped into it to find steep stairs. She had plenty of misgivings as she took another step, but she knew she could never sit there again without thinking of it. And so she descended into the murky darkness.
I havent been able to write much more then that. I dont know what should happen!
The crackle and hiss of the fire was subdued to a low grumble, and the storm had quieted to a peaceful stillness. Little Johnny, Matilda had learned the name of the first boy she saw, was fast asleep sprawled on the couch. The older children were contentedly slumped in chairs, and the parents talk was just a soft murmer.
"Pillow fight!" the cry rang out, heralding the news of war, and the air was suddenly filled with cushions bombarding the sleepers. Matilda watched in amusement as Johnny was knocked of the couch, and with a shriek he nailed his apponent with the pillow he had just been resting on.
"I'm terribly sorry," the father tried to appolagize but Matilda just smiled and said
"Children will be children."
"Well if your certain..." the father grabbed and abandoned pillow and joined in the fray with a laugh. A few moments later, when the noise was subsiding somewhat, Johnny tugged again on Matilda's skirt.
"There's a hole," he said when Matilda looked down.
"What?" Matilda got up and went to the spot where Johnny pointed. Sure enough, right where one of the couch cushions had been, was a gaping black hole. She stared down into its ominous depths with a feeling of trepidation, as everyone gathered around her.
"I'll see what's down there," a brave lad offered, only to be nearly smothered by his mother as she wailed hugging him feircly
"No! Something could happen to you!"
"I'll go," Matilda anounced firmly, and stepped into it to find steep stairs. She had plenty of misgivings as she took another step, but she knew she could never sit there again without thinking of it. And so she descended into the murky darkness.
I havent been able to write much more then that. I dont know what should happen!
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Most Embaresing Story
This is KrazyKelia. I wrote this story when I was six, and I find it emmensly amusing. I am doing original spelling, but the hardest words I will have translated.
The Sapasas (Surprise)
Ma was jast abot to read Annabelle a stre (story) wan they herd a nak on the dore. Ma said ceme (come) in but but nopade (nobody) came in. Ma said ceme in agan but nopade came in. Ma said it 4 more tims but nopade came in. So ma stde (started)to read. Then the dore opend. There was Pa. Were you nacing (knocking) all that time askd ma. Yes I was said Pa. Annabelle laved (laughed) You sapasd (Surprised) me she said.
The End
I just shake my head.
The Sapasas (Surprise)
Ma was jast abot to read Annabelle a stre (story) wan they herd a nak on the dore. Ma said ceme (come) in but but nopade (nobody) came in. Ma said ceme in agan but nopade came in. Ma said it 4 more tims but nopade came in. So ma stde (started)to read. Then the dore opend. There was Pa. Were you nacing (knocking) all that time askd ma. Yes I was said Pa. Annabelle laved (laughed) You sapasd (Surprised) me she said.
The End
I just shake my head.
Clippit
Okay so I thought I'd put a clippit of my story on here...It's unedited and personally not my favorite clip-though I am too self critical on my writing any who I post it...let me know if you like it and want more of it....
Clip from Chapter 10, "Snow Queen."
By: Katie LaGassie
Alleanna ran out of the ballroom and into the cold and windy winter storm her white dress waving behind her blending in with the scenery tears near to streaming down her face.
Mark started to say her name and follow her out but he stopped turning his head toward Garrett glaring at him, Mark’s handsome ice green eyes tinted with blue, gold and dark green flecks in them flashed and he stormed forward not carrying how he looked to his elder’s.
“Garrett!” Mark said his voice firm as his eyes flashed again this was the last straw.
Garrett turned a smirk on his face, “Problem Malton?”
“Yeah, why don’t we step outside?” Mark nestled his eyes firmly on Garrett’s face keeping his emotionless.
Garrett scanned Mark’s face with his eyes and nodded putting down his punch glass and walking out the large double doors. Mark followed his eyes practically searing through his back.
Gage, Eragon, Roald, Ronald and Nathaniel whipped their heads around, “Uh-oh…” Gage said wide eyed and in unison they easily weaved easily through the crowd of dancers in the Mess hall that’s serving as a ballroom making their way towards Mark and Garrett who were exiting.
Once out the door Mark grabbed Garrett’s collar slamming him to the brick wall of the army base leaning forward pinning him in place, “This is it, Garrett, you have gotten on my last nerve.”
Garrett just smiled his crooked smile looking as innocent as physically possible, “I thought you were supposed to be cool tempered and reasonable, Malton.”
Mark felt Gage and his friends enclose around him “I normally am, but not when it comes to someone miss-treating my friends, another person and most definitely I will not be calm and lay back when you upset Alleanna, she is my friend a really good friend and I will not tolerate you upsetting her. You rattle her every chance you get and I don’t understand why, she’s never done anything to you”
“If she can’t handle me in army school how do you think she’ll handle a battle?” Garrett said avoiding Mark’s question.
Mark glared taking deep breath’s throw his nose calming down, “Just-leave-her-alone.” He said through gritted teeth letting Garrett down while reminding himself violence wasn’t an answer.
Garrett sneered at Mark who ignored him totally now and glanced around at his friends. Gage looked at Garrett his eyes narrowing into a glare.
“If you’ll excuse me…” Mark didn’t bother finishing and just went around his friends. ‘If I were Alleanna where would I be right now…’ he thought to himself as he made his way along a stone lit path dusted with falling snow. Mark looked over the land which was exactly what you’d classify as a winter wonderland-everything was white. As he ran his eyes along the horizon he noticed a figure sitting near a frozen lake in the distance he immediately stepped into the snow which came a few inches above his ankles and in places more.
“Alleanna?” Mark said his voice soft and sweet as he came upon her.
Alleanna glanced at his caring face and back at the white ground a tear falls of her cheek and onto the snow covered ground. A cold breeze whipped and Alleanna shivered drawing her legs under her dress and crossing her arms across her chest
“You okay, Alana?” His eyes swept down her like a quilt covering a cold child-his gaze was just as warm.
“I’ll be fine…” Her voice wavered as she continued her down ward gaze.
Mark slipped off his coat draping it around her shoulders and sat next to her.
Alleanna turned her head to look at him with her blue eyes still glossed from tears, “What was that for?”
Mark lifted the corners of his mouth into his warm boyish toothy grin, “You looked cold-I don’t want you catching a cold.”
Alleanna smiled a little looking into his captivating tentative eyes, “Thanks but won’t you…” she started
Mark put his hand up in protest, “I’ll be fine.” He smiled and then put his arm around her shoulder, “are you really sure you’re okay?”
“I’ll be okay…eventually…some night this was…and look at my mother’s dress.” Alleanna said tears streaming again as she looked down at her punch stained beautiful white dress.
Mark looked down at her caringly and lightly pressed his lips to her blonde snow dusted hair her breathed in smelling a flower scent from her shampoo, “I’m so sorry that happened, Alleanna, I promise nothing like that will happen again…”
“It doesn’t matter it ruined.” Alleanna said her voice heavy with sobbing.
Mark rubbed her arm with his hand looking down at her caringly biting his lip thinking hard, “You don’t know that….You know my mom has tons of cleaning things I’m sure she could fix it.”
Alleanna sat up looking at him a sparkle coming back into her eyes, “Oh Mark could you really do that?”
“Of course, Alana, you’re my friend, I care about you-I’d do anything for you…” He looked back in her eyes smiling at the bright light that seem to shine from her face signifying happiness as she hugged him.
“Thank you.” She whispered in his ear breathlessly.
“Anytime…” He replied in a quiet whisper she could barely hear over the roar of the wind and snow that whipped her fine long hair.
Clip from Chapter 10, "Snow Queen."
By: Katie LaGassie
Alleanna ran out of the ballroom and into the cold and windy winter storm her white dress waving behind her blending in with the scenery tears near to streaming down her face.
Mark started to say her name and follow her out but he stopped turning his head toward Garrett glaring at him, Mark’s handsome ice green eyes tinted with blue, gold and dark green flecks in them flashed and he stormed forward not carrying how he looked to his elder’s.
“Garrett!” Mark said his voice firm as his eyes flashed again this was the last straw.
Garrett turned a smirk on his face, “Problem Malton?”
“Yeah, why don’t we step outside?” Mark nestled his eyes firmly on Garrett’s face keeping his emotionless.
Garrett scanned Mark’s face with his eyes and nodded putting down his punch glass and walking out the large double doors. Mark followed his eyes practically searing through his back.
Gage, Eragon, Roald, Ronald and Nathaniel whipped their heads around, “Uh-oh…” Gage said wide eyed and in unison they easily weaved easily through the crowd of dancers in the Mess hall that’s serving as a ballroom making their way towards Mark and Garrett who were exiting.
Once out the door Mark grabbed Garrett’s collar slamming him to the brick wall of the army base leaning forward pinning him in place, “This is it, Garrett, you have gotten on my last nerve.”
Garrett just smiled his crooked smile looking as innocent as physically possible, “I thought you were supposed to be cool tempered and reasonable, Malton.”
Mark felt Gage and his friends enclose around him “I normally am, but not when it comes to someone miss-treating my friends, another person and most definitely I will not be calm and lay back when you upset Alleanna, she is my friend a really good friend and I will not tolerate you upsetting her. You rattle her every chance you get and I don’t understand why, she’s never done anything to you”
“If she can’t handle me in army school how do you think she’ll handle a battle?” Garrett said avoiding Mark’s question.
Mark glared taking deep breath’s throw his nose calming down, “Just-leave-her-alone.” He said through gritted teeth letting Garrett down while reminding himself violence wasn’t an answer.
Garrett sneered at Mark who ignored him totally now and glanced around at his friends. Gage looked at Garrett his eyes narrowing into a glare.
“If you’ll excuse me…” Mark didn’t bother finishing and just went around his friends. ‘If I were Alleanna where would I be right now…’ he thought to himself as he made his way along a stone lit path dusted with falling snow. Mark looked over the land which was exactly what you’d classify as a winter wonderland-everything was white. As he ran his eyes along the horizon he noticed a figure sitting near a frozen lake in the distance he immediately stepped into the snow which came a few inches above his ankles and in places more.
“Alleanna?” Mark said his voice soft and sweet as he came upon her.
Alleanna glanced at his caring face and back at the white ground a tear falls of her cheek and onto the snow covered ground. A cold breeze whipped and Alleanna shivered drawing her legs under her dress and crossing her arms across her chest
“You okay, Alana?” His eyes swept down her like a quilt covering a cold child-his gaze was just as warm.
“I’ll be fine…” Her voice wavered as she continued her down ward gaze.
Mark slipped off his coat draping it around her shoulders and sat next to her.
Alleanna turned her head to look at him with her blue eyes still glossed from tears, “What was that for?”
Mark lifted the corners of his mouth into his warm boyish toothy grin, “You looked cold-I don’t want you catching a cold.”
Alleanna smiled a little looking into his captivating tentative eyes, “Thanks but won’t you…” she started
Mark put his hand up in protest, “I’ll be fine.” He smiled and then put his arm around her shoulder, “are you really sure you’re okay?”
“I’ll be okay…eventually…some night this was…and look at my mother’s dress.” Alleanna said tears streaming again as she looked down at her punch stained beautiful white dress.
Mark looked down at her caringly and lightly pressed his lips to her blonde snow dusted hair her breathed in smelling a flower scent from her shampoo, “I’m so sorry that happened, Alleanna, I promise nothing like that will happen again…”
“It doesn’t matter it ruined.” Alleanna said her voice heavy with sobbing.
Mark rubbed her arm with his hand looking down at her caringly biting his lip thinking hard, “You don’t know that….You know my mom has tons of cleaning things I’m sure she could fix it.”
Alleanna sat up looking at him a sparkle coming back into her eyes, “Oh Mark could you really do that?”
“Of course, Alana, you’re my friend, I care about you-I’d do anything for you…” He looked back in her eyes smiling at the bright light that seem to shine from her face signifying happiness as she hugged him.
“Thank you.” She whispered in his ear breathlessly.
“Anytime…” He replied in a quiet whisper she could barely hear over the roar of the wind and snow that whipped her fine long hair.
Darn!
I posted my Most Embaressing Story but it put it below Tuulinhavens poem because I was working on it for awhile and it was accidentaly dated Sep. 29. So just scroll down to read it.
Enjoy!
Drama_Queen
Enjoy!
Drama_Queen
Monday, October 02, 2006
Most embaressing story?
Do you remember a story you wrote when you were young that you thought was the best thing in the world? What do you think of it now, I wonder? Dig up those old stories and post the most embarrassing here!
Drama_Queen
Drama_Queen
Sunday, October 01, 2006
Tuulenhaiven hits the stage
Hello all!
Yikes. I have "first post" jitters! *ahem*
Here is a poem I wrote recently, while walking around Jordan Pond before work:
Windblown
Like water
White caps
Tangled hair
Slap of wave
Tug of sleeve
Insistant air
Moving us
Yikes. I have "first post" jitters! *ahem*
Here is a poem I wrote recently, while walking around Jordan Pond before work:
Windblown
Like water
White caps
Tangled hair
Slap of wave
Tug of sleeve
Insistant air
Moving us
Friday, September 29, 2006
Story
Although Kelia says this is not my most embaressing story, I wanted to post it because I find it so funny. I remember writing it. I must have been nine or ten, (and boy did I have terrible spelling!) I wrote it because we had been listening to the tape of Little Woman, and Jo inspired me to write. I felt like this story was a little bit bad, and I was very proud of it. I shall keep the original spelling, just for the heck of it, and bear with me if I occasionally pop in with sarcastic remarks. :-)
The Duches of northvill
By Anna Ingraham
Once apon a time there was a vary spoild duches. Her father a lole (I believe that's loyal) and kind man had axsatently (accedently) spoiled her. (Oops!) Since her mother had deid he had fallen into a habit of giving her evrything she wished for. Even though she was spoild she was kind and very pretty, but she was never happy. Her name was Josafina. When she turned fifteen her father desided she out to be maryed of to somebody rich. So he sent her to the nearest kingdom. She did not want to go, but atlast agreid if a carig would carry her the whole way. For there was dangeres parts on the journey. Sir Steven, (her fathers name) aranged things and she started of at onec.
The Journey went fine for the first two weeks, but one day they enterd a forest and ran smack dab into a pack of orces. (Smack dab huh? How terrible!) Josafina was sitting on the carige top when it happend. The carige master was the first to sea them "Orces," he cried "Madam you must flee for your life," "Quik into the forest." A griping terrer clung to Josafines heart and she fled into the forest with out a word.
When she was far into the forest she dropped egsasted on to a soft bed of mose. Her hair was fly away her close taterd and she was vary hungry. "Oh dear whatever shall I do now," she mouned to herself. Dusk was falling and despite herself she soon fell asleep. When she was asleep an old ugly wich found her and thinking she might be some good, she made a sleeping potion for Josafina and stufed it into hear mouth. Then she put some wooden chains on her, and dragged her away.
A little while later! (How exciting!)
Josafina woke up exspecting to find herself in a cozy bed with a fire apposit her and butifull tapistres on the walls, but when she woke up the first shock she got was the cold. Then she noticed the ugly old lady leaning over a black pot on the fire. She emedeitly new it for a wich. She shiverd thinking of all the storys she had heard about wichs. "Good morning my dear," said the wich in a ofal voice. Josafina said nothing, but she trembled inside. The bony face turned to look at her and said "You should have a warm drink this cold morning," and gave her a glass of the stofe in the pot. When Josafina refused to drink it thinking "it is shure to have something magic in it," the wichs eyes turned red with fereiy and she stoked over to Josafina. "If you refuse to drink it than you shall be my servant," "and you shall serve me the rest of your days." "Drink it," she comanded in a terrifyeing voice. Josafina was not thinking and was to scared to do anything eals. She took a tiny sip. Then she fainted. The wich burst into a ofal peel of lafter. When Josafina awoke the most horrerfyeing thing had happend. She barly new herself. Her hair was short and strangly and brown, instead of blond and curly. She had dimples (I believe that should be pimples, because as far as I know dimples are not a bad thing!) and freckles. She was only five feet. And her eyes were gray.(Because, of course, she had a mirror to see what coler her eye's were. Right!)"How could you, you crule ugly old wich." "ha ha ha" was the only answer Josafina got."How can I brack the spell," she asked. "You must be happy with how you look," "that is the only way." "You Ha Ha Ha will have a espeshly hard time because your ha ha father became poor so yu will have to work at the casle." "Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha." (Was this supposed to be creepy?!!) "Come with me my dear," "We shall go for a walk." Josafina was surprised at what she thought a softening in the witches heart, so she went. (Josafina, you are a dingus! And I finally learned how to spell witch!! :-))Deep into the forest the witch said "We will rest here," and in saying so sat down. Josafina sat down to, and soon fell asleep, for she was vary tired. This was when softly geting up the witch chucled to herselfe saying in a hushed voice "she is quit lost." "Now I shall leave." And she did.
* * *
When Josafina awoke she was surprised not to see the witch. It was very dark and she was quit fritend. When morning came and the witch was not back, she relized the witch must have triced her. And to think I thought she was geting nicer she thought. After a while she got hungry, so she got up to look for some beries. She wanderd threw the woods and at last found some not wripe beries. The perteculer beries she ate were poisenes, but since the only beries shed ever eaten were store boat and she was ravenesly hungry, she ate them.She started walking, but after a while her legs started feeling wobley and she felt sick and sleepy, so she decided to lay down and rest. As soon as her head tuched the ground she fell into a deep slumber that would not be woken for a long while.
nearby lived a man with his son. He was vary rich. The son whose name was ralf, was riding his horse in the forest one day when he came apon a girl. That girl hapend to be Josafina. He was quit surprised and his horse got spooked out by her and ran away. Ralfe quikly decided to see who this strang maiden was instead of chasing his horse.When he looked closer he saw that she was not pritty, but never less he looked to see what was wrong. He emedeitly new by her breathing that she had eaten some thornhorn baries. She would stay in that sleep forever if he didn't do something. What should I do thought ralf. At last he decided to take her home. He started to walk. She got vary heavy, but at last he got home. Hes father helped him get her into a bed and then he went into there shed to get some of the magic milk there magic gout gave them. It was the only cure for the thornhorn. (How convinent!)Having goten it he brought it in the house and maniged to make her drink it. She was awake in a moment and creid out Joyesly on seeing her true love and a warm bed. And it didn't matter how she looked. As soon as she uterd the words "I am so happy,""and it doesn't mater how I look," she started to chang her hair turned into blond curly hair. Her eyes turned blue. Her freckles and pimples disaperd, and she was a good sixs feet tall. (apperently this is a hight to be desired by beautiful helpless females.:-))The to lovers inbraced in happyness and Joy. And they got maryed, and lived happly ever after. And Just to tell you half of Ralfes fathers money went to Josafinas father.
The End
*snorts* I really need to have a hysterical fit of laughter now! :-)
Drama_Queen
The Duches of northvill
By Anna Ingraham
Once apon a time there was a vary spoild duches. Her father a lole (I believe that's loyal) and kind man had axsatently (accedently) spoiled her. (Oops!) Since her mother had deid he had fallen into a habit of giving her evrything she wished for. Even though she was spoild she was kind and very pretty, but she was never happy. Her name was Josafina. When she turned fifteen her father desided she out to be maryed of to somebody rich. So he sent her to the nearest kingdom. She did not want to go, but atlast agreid if a carig would carry her the whole way. For there was dangeres parts on the journey. Sir Steven, (her fathers name) aranged things and she started of at onec.
The Journey went fine for the first two weeks, but one day they enterd a forest and ran smack dab into a pack of orces. (Smack dab huh? How terrible!) Josafina was sitting on the carige top when it happend. The carige master was the first to sea them "Orces," he cried "Madam you must flee for your life," "Quik into the forest." A griping terrer clung to Josafines heart and she fled into the forest with out a word.
When she was far into the forest she dropped egsasted on to a soft bed of mose. Her hair was fly away her close taterd and she was vary hungry. "Oh dear whatever shall I do now," she mouned to herself. Dusk was falling and despite herself she soon fell asleep. When she was asleep an old ugly wich found her and thinking she might be some good, she made a sleeping potion for Josafina and stufed it into hear mouth. Then she put some wooden chains on her, and dragged her away.
A little while later! (How exciting!)
Josafina woke up exspecting to find herself in a cozy bed with a fire apposit her and butifull tapistres on the walls, but when she woke up the first shock she got was the cold. Then she noticed the ugly old lady leaning over a black pot on the fire. She emedeitly new it for a wich. She shiverd thinking of all the storys she had heard about wichs. "Good morning my dear," said the wich in a ofal voice. Josafina said nothing, but she trembled inside. The bony face turned to look at her and said "You should have a warm drink this cold morning," and gave her a glass of the stofe in the pot. When Josafina refused to drink it thinking "it is shure to have something magic in it," the wichs eyes turned red with fereiy and she stoked over to Josafina. "If you refuse to drink it than you shall be my servant," "and you shall serve me the rest of your days." "Drink it," she comanded in a terrifyeing voice. Josafina was not thinking and was to scared to do anything eals. She took a tiny sip. Then she fainted. The wich burst into a ofal peel of lafter. When Josafina awoke the most horrerfyeing thing had happend. She barly new herself. Her hair was short and strangly and brown, instead of blond and curly. She had dimples (I believe that should be pimples, because as far as I know dimples are not a bad thing!) and freckles. She was only five feet. And her eyes were gray.(Because, of course, she had a mirror to see what coler her eye's were. Right!)"How could you, you crule ugly old wich." "ha ha ha" was the only answer Josafina got."How can I brack the spell," she asked. "You must be happy with how you look," "that is the only way." "You Ha Ha Ha will have a espeshly hard time because your ha ha father became poor so yu will have to work at the casle." "Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha." (Was this supposed to be creepy?!!) "Come with me my dear," "We shall go for a walk." Josafina was surprised at what she thought a softening in the witches heart, so she went. (Josafina, you are a dingus! And I finally learned how to spell witch!! :-))Deep into the forest the witch said "We will rest here," and in saying so sat down. Josafina sat down to, and soon fell asleep, for she was vary tired. This was when softly geting up the witch chucled to herselfe saying in a hushed voice "she is quit lost." "Now I shall leave." And she did.
* * *
When Josafina awoke she was surprised not to see the witch. It was very dark and she was quit fritend. When morning came and the witch was not back, she relized the witch must have triced her. And to think I thought she was geting nicer she thought. After a while she got hungry, so she got up to look for some beries. She wanderd threw the woods and at last found some not wripe beries. The perteculer beries she ate were poisenes, but since the only beries shed ever eaten were store boat and she was ravenesly hungry, she ate them.She started walking, but after a while her legs started feeling wobley and she felt sick and sleepy, so she decided to lay down and rest. As soon as her head tuched the ground she fell into a deep slumber that would not be woken for a long while.
nearby lived a man with his son. He was vary rich. The son whose name was ralf, was riding his horse in the forest one day when he came apon a girl. That girl hapend to be Josafina. He was quit surprised and his horse got spooked out by her and ran away. Ralfe quikly decided to see who this strang maiden was instead of chasing his horse.When he looked closer he saw that she was not pritty, but never less he looked to see what was wrong. He emedeitly new by her breathing that she had eaten some thornhorn baries. She would stay in that sleep forever if he didn't do something. What should I do thought ralf. At last he decided to take her home. He started to walk. She got vary heavy, but at last he got home. Hes father helped him get her into a bed and then he went into there shed to get some of the magic milk there magic gout gave them. It was the only cure for the thornhorn. (How convinent!)Having goten it he brought it in the house and maniged to make her drink it. She was awake in a moment and creid out Joyesly on seeing her true love and a warm bed. And it didn't matter how she looked. As soon as she uterd the words "I am so happy,""and it doesn't mater how I look," she started to chang her hair turned into blond curly hair. Her eyes turned blue. Her freckles and pimples disaperd, and she was a good sixs feet tall. (apperently this is a hight to be desired by beautiful helpless females.:-))The to lovers inbraced in happyness and Joy. And they got maryed, and lived happly ever after. And Just to tell you half of Ralfes fathers money went to Josafinas father.
The End
*snorts* I really need to have a hysterical fit of laughter now! :-)
Drama_Queen
Thursday, September 28, 2006
KrazyKelia's short story
This is KrazyKelia writing, and this is a short story I started the day before yesterday. Its not very good.
The howl of the wind was muffled but persistant, and Old Matilda was glad of her fire and blanket. Her knees were drawn up to her chin, a position that seemed to defy old age. She stared into the flames, unable to push away the lonely feeling that followed her everywhere since Old Benjamin died. The little house she occupied some ways for the village was cozy enough, but lacked Benjamins steady silence that had always been there.
A burst of wind banging on the door with renewed vigor startled Matilda from her thoughts, and she found herself uncurling with the notion that someone had been knocking. She felt a bit foolish easing the great wooden door open, but looked down in surprise at the little boy tugging her skirt.
"Please," his voice was weak, and those big eyes in his pale face slid to the rosy light spilling out onto the snow.
"Come in, come in," Matilda said as the flying snow parted to reveal a whole family shivering in the cold. They gladly rushed, and Matilda was embraced by a weeping woman crying
"You have saved us!"
"No, no," Matilda protested as other such words of thanks flew over her head, but she just smiled and closed the door. And that night there was chestnuts, and hot cocoa, and lots of laugher.
I have another part, where there is a pillow fight and they discover a secret passage that supposedly leads to buried treasure, but I might just leave it as it is.
Please write what you think of it!
The howl of the wind was muffled but persistant, and Old Matilda was glad of her fire and blanket. Her knees were drawn up to her chin, a position that seemed to defy old age. She stared into the flames, unable to push away the lonely feeling that followed her everywhere since Old Benjamin died. The little house she occupied some ways for the village was cozy enough, but lacked Benjamins steady silence that had always been there.
A burst of wind banging on the door with renewed vigor startled Matilda from her thoughts, and she found herself uncurling with the notion that someone had been knocking. She felt a bit foolish easing the great wooden door open, but looked down in surprise at the little boy tugging her skirt.
"Please," his voice was weak, and those big eyes in his pale face slid to the rosy light spilling out onto the snow.
"Come in, come in," Matilda said as the flying snow parted to reveal a whole family shivering in the cold. They gladly rushed, and Matilda was embraced by a weeping woman crying
"You have saved us!"
"No, no," Matilda protested as other such words of thanks flew over her head, but she just smiled and closed the door. And that night there was chestnuts, and hot cocoa, and lots of laugher.
I have another part, where there is a pillow fight and they discover a secret passage that supposedly leads to buried treasure, but I might just leave it as it is.
Please write what you think of it!
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Cool Things
National Novel Writing Month is a very cool thing. It is the month of November, and if you sign up you have to write (or at least try to write) 50,000 words in one month. I did it two years ago, and I'm doing it again this year. Here is the web address http://www.nanowrimo.org/If you're over thirteen, you can take the challenge! I dare anyone who comes to this blog to do it! :-)
Also, this. http://elouai.com/It is a sight where you can make little dolls, with lots of outfits, different faces and hair. It's pretty cool. It's fun to make story characters, but be warned, it is very addictive.
Also, this. http://elouai.com/It is a sight where you can make little dolls, with lots of outfits, different faces and hair. It's pretty cool. It's fun to make story characters, but be warned, it is very addictive.
Hello Everyone!!
So, I'm making this blog to be a sort of online writers group. Members can post their stories and have people comment. Also, we'll just talk about random writing stuff, play games, and talk about books. It should be fun!
If you want to join, comment and I'll give you my e-mail so I can give you the password and user-name. Everyone will be using the same password and user-name to post, we'll just have to specify who we are. Got it?? :-) Hopefully this will work, but if it doesn't I'll figure something else out.
If you want to join, comment and I'll give you my e-mail so I can give you the password and user-name. Everyone will be using the same password and user-name to post, we'll just have to specify who we are. Got it?? :-) Hopefully this will work, but if it doesn't I'll figure something else out.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
