Peices of nano, and a poem

I've been lazy lately, now Katie's post has prompted me to actually post something. So here's the first chapter of my nano.
After I finished my novel and read the whole thing, I realized something very important-- I didn't like my Main Character. She's flat and kind of annoying and completely boring, and I have no idea who she is. So I decided to rewrite my nano with a different MC, and lots of changes. So the second first chapter I'm posting is in a modern world but with magic, and as you'll see, her mother's still alive and she has lots of siblings.
So what I want to know is, which do you like better? Which world do you think works with the story better? And also, do you think the whole leaving home thing is overdone?

Chapter One
I gazed up at the sky, my smile growing till I felt like it would tip me over. The sky was blue; the blue that made you want to run and run and laugh forever. I looked around-- there was no one with me on this big open field. Behind me I could see trees but they were just blurs on the horizon. I smiled again and ran.
The moon burned
The sun fell
A sea of black
Turned the land to flame.
The ground moved strangely fast under my feet, it felt like I was jogging but the grass raced by dizzyingly. I ran and ran-- the scenery changed--
Breathe in
Don’t die
The world will end
Before your eyes
I was running high on the mountains, looking down over a valley. It was filled with a city, crowned with a castle. All around the castle swarmed angry men-- the castle was under attack?
The terror grew
Chaos reigned
The skies wept
And then a savior came
Then I was on the field again, but the field had changed. Now the grass was trampled and torn, around me people called out for help. Stained and terrified faces flew past me but I couldn’t stop, I couldn’t stop running. And then I caught a glimpse of my Father, more terrified than I’d ever seen him. “Sophina!“ he called to me but I was gone before it approached--

My eyes flew open, blinking in the dark. It was pitch black outside, it couldn’t be morning… I breathed heavily and tried to remember what had woken me. It seemed like I had dreamed…
Shaking my head, I crept out of bed and into the kitchen. There was no need to feel so uneasy. But that dream… had that been Riggaere I was seeing? Why would anybody be attacking the capital? And why was that old nursery rhyme in my dream?
“Sophina? Are you all right?” I turned, Father was standing in the kitchen doorway.
“Oh yes,” I said, trying to ignore my sudden relief at seeing him. “I just had a strange dream that woke me up.”
“All right.” He sat at the kitchen table as I put some water on to boil. “You having hot chocolate?”
“You know me,” I said, matching his grin.
“You’ll never get to sleep after that.”
“Oh well.” I wasn’t very anxious to sleep-- and dream-- any more tonight.
“I might as well get to work,” he checked his pocket watch and shrugged. “It isn’t that much earlier than usual, for recently.”
“Have you been busy lately?”
“Incredibly so. There’s all kinds of propaganda being spread around, about the King‘s coronation.” He got up and kissed the top of my head, trying to get rid of his frown but not quite succeeding.
“See you tonight,” I said as he unlocked the adjoining door to the printers shop.
“See you,” he said with his regular grin and was gone.
That brought back the image from my dream. Father had looked so -- afraid. He never looked scared. And what had been coming towards him? I hadn’t seen it, but I knew it was terrifying from the looks on everyone’s faces. They were all petrified. What would reduce an army-- and they were an army, I don’t know how I knew-- to that?

Classes passed in a blur, spring fever had gotten into everyone and they couldn’t wait to be let out.
“I can’t believe it’s June already!” Kalla giggled as we walked home together. “One more week! Aren’t you excited, Sophie?”
“Of course,” I said, on reflex. I hadn’t really heard what she said. We were passing by the bazaar, past the magic displaying section. I always liked to look at the different things. It was all nonsense of course-- you couldn’t sell magic. But today, this normally quiet section of the market place was filled with people. I couldn’t see the magic stalls past all of them.
“Why are they all here?” I wondered aloud, trying to peer past them.
“I don’t know,” Kalla said. “Come on, Sophie.”
“You go on,” I said, not able to ignore my curiosity.
“Oh go find out then,” Kalla said sighing dramatically and smiling wryly. I flashed a grin at her and started winding my way through people.
I was small for my age-- and it was a good thing too, because the bazaar was packed. I could barely squeezed my way between people, apologizing the whole time, but finally I got to the front edge of the crowd and could see.
The entire magic section was gone. Standing in the middle of the desolately empty space was the owners of the stalls, looking around in shock.
“What happened?” someone called out from the crowd.
“Where did it all go?” I heard one of the magic sellers whisper.
My own mouth was open with surprise as I stared at the nothing. What had happened? No one person, or even a group could have stolen it all. It had been there the night before. The owners of the magic stalls were devastated, I could see that clearly. I knew most of them by name, the rest by face at least. They were all friendly and nice… what would they do now?
“Excuse me, excuse me please,” I turned around, someone was making his way through the crowd. The crowd immediately parted for him, he was escorted by guards. I watched as he stepped out into the open.
“I have a message from the King,” he announced, unrolling a piece of paper. He was a King’s messenger, that was plain to see. His clothes were fancy and they were all blue and green and gold, the kingdoms colors.
“My Good People,” the messenger started reading. “By now you will have noticed the absence of the magic section in the Bazaar. Do not be alarmed. I have ordered it; it is all for the good of this land.”
“How so?” One of the magic sellers demanded. The messenger cleared his throat and continued reading
“I, the King, believe that magic is dangerous, especially in the wrong hands. How dangerous then is the practice of selling magic! Anyone who wishes it could buy some and do harmful things with it. Therefore I am making a new law-- that it is unlawful to sell magic. Only in magic schools and for the defense of this country will magic be used.” There was a general angry murmuring from the crowd at that. Magic was as good as being outlawed! What would happen to everyone who made their living by magic?
“The owners of the magic stalls will be compensated for the things they lost,” the messenger continued, ignoring the crowds mutterings. “I advise them to seek a new profession, or to set up an appointment with me about the job of monitoring and protecting this country with magic. Thank you, my people for your understanding.
Signed, Jalen Rossio the second, King.” the messenger finished.
“That’s not fair!” “I demand more of an explanation!” “How do you expect us all to get jobs?” The owners of the stalls, before mute in shock, were suddenly alive and angry. They shouted at the messenger as he calmly tacked the message from the King onto a bulletin board and started walking away, surrounded by the Kings guards.
I squeezed my way through everyone before the crowd started getting rowdy and sat with a sigh next to Kalla. “Did you hear that?” I asked her.
“Yes,” she was unusually quiet, her eyes big with surprise. “Why would he do that?” she asked at last.
“You heard him,” I said. “He thinks magic is dangerous.” Which, I supposed, it could be-- but who would go to the bazaar and buy magic to do something bad with? It was only the evil wizards who were dangerous, normal people couldn’t use magic even if they wanted to. The stalls were mostly selling amulets and medicine anyways.
“I don’t think the King is going to be very popular,” Kalla mused. I shook my head in agreement-- no one would much like him after this. But maybe he’d prove himself to be all right, he‘d been perfectly nice and popular while he was a prince. It was only two weeks ago that the old King had died and Jalen Rossio the second had taken the throne. I thought back to Father saying that there was lots of propaganda being spread around. Could it be propaganda against the King? Were there more happenings we hadn’t heard of?
“Come on, lets go,” the crowd was dissipating, everyone going off home to rant to all their friends about it. The whole city would know by the next day. Kalla and I rose and walked home in silence.
Everything about that whole day was still bothering me when I got home. The dream-- the announcement-- there was nothing for it. I had to make some hot chocolate and curl up with a book in our library.
Library was a bit of a grand name for it I guess, there were only three book cases in there after all. But for most of the people in the city, that was a library. Father loved books and had collected them all his life. Two shelves were mine-- accumulated through holidays and birthdays and spare money.
By four o’clock I was lost in another whole world, which was exactly what I wanted. My hot chocolate was long since gone but I read on, slowly. I had read almost all of the books in the third book case and I wanted to savor every word.
“Sophina!” I recognized the voice of our neighbor Perlia, she was knocking on our door and calling my name.
“Coming!” I shouted back, putting down the book and running to the door.
“Hello Sophina!” She said. “Have you heard?”
“About the announcement?” I guessed, Perlia shook her head yes. “Yes I have. It’s ridiculous.“
“That’s what everyone thinks,” Perlia said as she came in and we sat at the table. “It must have been for a good reason, though.”
“Some other reason than he said, maybe,” I said. “I can’t see much sense in that one.”
“What are all those magic sellers going to do for a living now?” she asked, not expecting an answer.
“Father said there was lots of propaganda being spread around,” I said. Perlia read every newspaper there was, she could tell me better than anyone. “Have you seen any?”
“Oh yes,” Perlia said. “Lots of rumors. People say Jalen Rossio isn’t acting the same since he was crowned King.”
“He never caused any trouble before his Father died,” I murmured. I never heard anything bad about him then, he was just our prince who was growing up to be a fine young man. That’s what everyone said, at least.
“Not a bit of trouble then,” she said. “I hope the power isn’t going to his head.”
“His advisors won’t let him do anything out of line,” I said, more confidently than I felt. “He’s only twenty one, he’d have to check with them before he did anything. Wouldn’t he?”
“They say he ordered his personal servants to dismantle the whole magic section in the dead of the night, without telling or asking anybody beforehand,” Perlia said, her voice dropping to a whisper. She was acting like this was just another juicy gossip secret, but I could see that she was worried. There were frown lines in her forehead even when she smiled.
“Hmmm,” I couldn’t think of anything else to say. With rumors like that flying every which way, who could tell what was the truth?
“I’d better go,” Perlia said soon after that. We said our goodbyes and she hurried away, probably to make sure all our neighbors had heard the news.
I was left to myself, I didn’t know what to think and my head was whirring with new information. I disappeared behind my book again and let the complicated world worry for itself.





Chapter One
Tyra stood slouched at the railing, frowning as she looked out at the trees. The very tops were pale pink, naked winter branches glimmered as the sun gently brushed dew away. She watched more and more of the trees come to light. Shadows slowly disappeared as the sun rose.
"Tyra?" Tyra turned at the high pitched voice, Macie stood in the doorway yawning. "What are you doing up so early?"
"Watching the sun rise," Tyra said, turning away again. "Could you sleep?"
"No." Macie shivered, trying to wrap her arms around herself. There was silence and Tyra could hear sounds in the house. Floor boards creaked, unintelligible whispers came from the parent's bedroom.
"I wonder if they could sleep," Tyra muttered.
"Don't be mad at them," Macie said stepping forward to the rail. "That won't get you anywhere."
"Sometimes I think you're the older sister of us two," Tyra said and grinned, looking down at Macie's messy light brown hair.
"Oh yes I'm much more responsible than you," Macie laughed. There was a clatter of noise from inside the house and both girls turned as Asher and Quinn tumbled into sight.
"Hello there," Asher said and straightened up. Quinn groaned and sat up, blinking lazily.
"Now they," Tyra confided to Macie in a loud whisper "Always act their age."
"I don't appreciate that," Quinn said grumpily. "We'll both be thirteen in two weeks you know!"
"Lord help us," Macie said breathlessly, her eyes wide as she tried not to laugh.
"He will have to," Asher insisted. "Once we get to our new house-- there's unlimited possibilities."
"Don't worry, I'll keep an eye on them," Tyra told Macie. Both boys looked away, trying not to laugh. "What have you got planned this time?" Tyra asked, folding her arms. "Snakes over the doorway? A bucket of milk?"
"No no, we've done those already," Quinn waved them aside. Tyra raised an eyebrow.
"Everyone up?" Vera appeared in the doorway, already dressed and hair combed. 'How does she do it?' Tyra wondered for the seventeen hundredth time.
"Hi mum," They all chorused together.
"Hello darlings. Everyone packed?" There was silence as Asher Quinn and Macie reverted quickly to their angel faces. Tyra didn't bother. "I thought I told you to finish packing last night," Vera said in her deceptively calm voice. "Did you not hear me?"
"We heard you," Tyra said, her and her mother's eyes meeting. 'There should be a clap of thunder or something,' Tyra thought mildly as her mother's face turned to stone. 'Or at least lightening shooting between our eyes.'
"Room. Now. Pack." Vera said, her voice too firm to be ignored this time. "You too Macie-- don't follow your sister's example. Asher and Quinn I'll supervise your packing."
Asher and Quinn shuffled dejectedly into the house, followed by Vera. "We'd better go pack," Macie mumbled, moving for the door. "We should have done it ages ago."
"I wish she'd just, for once, consider what I have to say," Tyra growled, thudding up the stairs. Macie was silent and started packing, quickly moving folded clothes into a box. Tyra sighed and dumped her shirts into a waiting bag.
"Tyra, fold your clothes," a commanding voice came through the walls. Tyra stiffened and made a face, then breathed very deeply for a few moments.
"Let me guess," Macie whispered, trying not to laugh. "You're wishing Mum weren't a sorceress too, aren't you?"
Tyra nodded shortly and glared at her clothes. Then, with controlled movements that showed she was extremely annoyed, she started repacking her bag.
"Tyra? Macie?" There was a knock on the door, Tyra opened it and couldn't help smiling.
"Hello Dad," she said as he came into the room and set down two plates of blueberry pancakes.
"Thought you might want some breakfast," he said, straightening up, his big face slightly red. "Didn't figure you'd have enough time to make it yourself."
"Thanks Dad!" Macie threw her arms around him. "Can you make supper too?"
"We'll still be on the way to Riggaere at suppertime at this rate," Jorj said smiling. "Am I really that much of a better cook than mum?"
"Definitely," Tyra grinned and reached for a fork.
"Finish packing first," Jorj said, his face unhappy as she scowled. "It'll be for the best, alright?"
"Right." Tyra turned back to her closet and commenced hurling clothes into the bag. Jorj patted her on the head and left quietly. Macie went after him to ask something and Tyra pulled down her old stuffed bear, hugging him tightly.
"Haven't seen you in a while, Brownie," She murmured into him. "Sorry about that. Are you going to tell me that with a new school, new scary people to try to be friends with, a new house, and a new city to get lost in, everything's going to be alright?" Brownie didn't answer and his head fell backwards, his big glassy glass eyes stared at her solemnly.
"What am I doing?" Tyra asked the air. "Talking to a stuffed animal. What will I do next, start thinking my dreams are real?" She shook her head and stuffed Brownie into the bag. She hadn't had a good dream last night, in the little time she slept. She hardly remembered it but she still had this lasting impression that someone had died.
They were ready to go within the hour; Tyra suspected that Vera had sped the process up some with magic. She wished she wouldn't. She wanted to spend every moment in their big, comforting house that she could.
It looked strange now, stripped of most of it's furniture and all it's pictures. Noise echoed off it's walls, Asher and Quinn being loud and the parents moving everything to the car. Tyra helped but her mind was in a cocoon of memories, memories were jumbled and blurred together in the house, piled in every corner. 'I'll forget them,' Tyra thought wistfully as she stood looking into her empty room. 'I don't want to forget fifteen years of ordinary memories, but I will.'
"Tyra," Macie said from the hallway. "We're all packed up."
"Alright," Tyra sighed, Macie came to stand beside her in the doorway.
"I'll miss the view," Macie said absentmindedly, walking forward to the window and staring out. Tyra folded her arms and tried to ignore the ache in her chest.
"Hey Tyra!" Someone yelled from outside, a grin broke out on her face as Tyra ran to look out the window.
"What are you doing here, Jagger?" Tyra yelled down at the boy smiling up at her. "We said goodbye yesterday."
"That was yesterday," He shrugged and laughed at himself, squinting at the sun behind the house. "How are you doing?"
"Okay." Tyra sighed again and looked out along the dirt road, brown against the glittering snow. "I can't believe we're leaving. Aren't you cold?" She looked back at Jagger abruptly, trying to push the thought of leaving away.
"Not much," Jagger said, his tightly folded arms belying his words. "It wouldn't be me if I didn't wear short sleeves." Tyra laughed and shook her head at him.
"TYRA!! MACIE!" A voice bellowed up the stairs, Tyra looked in its direction and frowned. Macie made a face, she pulled away from the other window and slowly started walking across the empty room.
"I have to go," Tyra said to Jagger reluctantly. There was something stuck in her throat and she looked back into the room, morning light played over the aqua-marine walls. She'd miss those walls.
"Tyra!" There was another shout from outside and Fina ran into the yard, her breath coming fast. "I ran," she gasped, bending over, "The whole way."
"I'll be there in a minute!" Tyra shouted and pounded down the stairs, her house flying by her as she raced outside. What was a house compared to friends?
"Sofina!" Tyra burst outside and hugged Fina, almost toppling both of them in the snow.
"I slept through my alarm," Fina explained as they regained their balance, laughing.
"We have to go Tyra," Vera said, from inside the car. It was all packed up and everyone was inside.
"One minute," Tyra told her mom, then turned to her friends.
"You'll be fine," Jagger said, grinning at her. "You always are."
"I'll write every week," Fina said through watery eyes. "You'd better, too."
"You'll have to teach Fina how to climb trees," Tyra said to Jagger, smiling at the face Fina made. "I'll write," she told her.
And then she had to leave, looking backwards the whole time and waving to her friends. She didn't cry because she never cried, but there was a burning behind her eyes as she left her world-- her life-- behind.



And now a poem, just because. :D

Words shimmer as
they dance
by the fire on a cold,
cold night
Darkness creeps in
turns the air
to ice
Come closer
to the leaping flames
crackling red and
glowing gold
watch them
twist and turn
they thaw your hands
that pour out words
glimmering
like frosty stars
just within
your reach.


Love,
Kelia