Would YOU want to read it?!

So this is the official query post. When ya'll finish yours (cuz you are going to, course), you can just add on. :P
Thanks to Lauren who posted all that yummy info. I wasn't too happy at first because obviously it meant I had to stop sitting on my butt and get to it, but hey, you knew we'd all appreciate it in the end. Because you're smart like that. *sigh*
Anywho, here's mine! Please, for the first time in your lives, critique, k? :D

Dear Agent:

Jenna May Saundra thinks she knows what life is all about, but when her parents flip her world upside down, she escapes into the unknown world of theatre and has to learn what being an actress, and a woman, really means.

Jenna May Saundra is a normal 15 year old, despite being a little lonely, until her world falls apart when her mother suddenly has a break down and her father leaves them. She’s left alone to cope with her alcoholic mother, but instead of facing the truth and getting help she escapes into the world of theatre, where she meets the amazing people that will eventually gain her trust. It is them she runs to when her mother gets out of control and physically hurts her, but her conflicting emotions for the leading man starts to pull things apart, and she discovers that things are not always as they seem. Her inability to trust finally forces her away from those who love her, but a little girl who has even more to lose shows her the truth, and she sets out to make things right before it’s too late.

My young adult novel, REACHING FOR THE STARS, is finished at about 53,000 words. The full manuscript is availuble upon request.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,
Anna Ingraham

You may notice there is no bio... I just couldn't figure out what to put in it. I mean, there wasn't really any in the sample ones I read and I obviously have no experiance... so what ARE you supposed to put in it, anyone know? And here's another Hook, I couldn't decide which I liked better, so please tell me! Hehe.

The day her mother starts drinking again changes the life of Jenna May Saundra forever, but perhaps not all for the worse, as she meets the enchanting, but confusing people of Hartford, and steps into the unknown world of theatre.

That's alllll. I expect this post'll get longer soon. It better. ;)
<3
Annapants


All right all, this is my query letter. I OFICIALLY HATE QUERY LETTERS! They're so hard to do! If only someone else had done the challenge, so right now I could be steaming mad at them instead of pounding my head against the wall at myself. At least, it certianly WAS a challenge! And please give me your advice, I cant decide, should I take out the last sentance of the mini synopsis?

Dear Ms. Agent:

After Ember finds out she’s part fairy and magic is real, she determines to try to help those like her who are in danger; not knowing that doing so may cause the eminent destruction of Fairy World.

Ember lives a normal lonely life until her grandfather shocks her with the news; she’s part fairy. Her life is further changed when she decides to try to help the part fairies in the mysterious third world, part fairies who are hunted by the government and live a life of hiding. But the second time she goes back everything goes wrong. After getting captured by a spy pretending to be a part fairy, Ember knows they have to seal the gate between worlds or Fairy World may be overrun by two evil people who have both brains and power. It results in a battle between worlds, with light and dark come together to fight.

I have been writing since I was five, and in 2006 I received an honorable mention in a Cricket poem contest.
My young adult novel, Gates of light, is about 53,000 words. The full manuscript is available upon request. Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,
Kelia Ingraham

There you go. Tear it up as much as you want, I have NO attatchments to it.
KrazyK